Wow, a car in just Rs 1K!
Hey folks! Still nursing the childhood desire to settle abroad? Please think again.
For your rotten India may not be the same ever. There will be a time when your expatriate kids will be trying hard to migrate to India to get the feel of living in the best country of the world. "Utter nonsense," you might say, but here is a secret I would love to share with you.
H.G. Wells knew about it long back, and I came to know about it the other day. With the help of the 'time machine', I peered into 2085 A.D. (Please do not ask me how, or else these Americans will patent it) and discovered my dearest Bharatvarsh (the name India would become obsolete by then) soaking in the glory of ten consecutive World Cup victory. No, no it was not cricket World Cup, it was soccer instead.
You think I'm crazy. You can very well think at your own peril. As I had very little time over there to understand the world of 2085, I scanned through some newspapers. I had a harrowing time searching for printed words. Only few copies of newspapers were published as heritage symbols. The future is in e-newspapers. Here are some samples of news from the Times of Bharatvarsh, November 18, 2085.
The Front Page
India today ordered the United States to solve its border dispute with Cuba immediately. In an SMS to the President of the United States, the Pradhan Mantri of India threatened him of psycho-chemi-bio attack if he fails to start peace talk with the neighboring country within a week.
India today donated three old nuclear submarines to England. The Griha Mantri of India said that it was a gift to the King on his birthday.
The Mukhya Senadhinayak of India today visited Indian's western border on the bank of Euphrates River.
The Rajyapal of Japan today dissolved the state assembly and requested the Rashtrapatiji to invoke Rastrapati's rule in the state. The Mukhyamantri of Japan termed the action of Rajyapal as arbitrary.
Science and Technology Page
The Nobel laureate scientist Dr Dhaniram Bora has been invited by the 'University of Hoka Lola in the planet Mars to deliver a lecture on the scientific implications of Bharatnatyam.
The Pradhan Mantri of India today congratulated astronaut Rahul Sharma on his return from Uranus. While speaking to reporters Sharma said, "The people of Uranus expect friendly ties with Prithvivashi."
The science and technology minister today felicitated a 6th standard student from Bihar who made a watch, which can download virtual coffee. Ram Bhushan, the 12 years old kid says, 'I was inspired by five times Nobel winning Bihari scientist, Dr. Laloo Bhushan Prasad."
"As usual, this year also Bharatiyas swept away the Nobel prizes in every field. This year a special Nobel was given to Santa Singh for his extra ordinary intelligence. However, following the age old custom, the Nobel Prize for peace was reserved for the Indian Pradhan Mantri." (This was a small news item on page 6)
Sports Page
The whole country is celebrating its 10th consecutive World Cup football victory. Immediately after the world cup win striker Laxman Pawar signed a contract with Unreal Bhopal club for an undisclosed amount. The team Bharatvarsh has decided not to take part in the next World Cup to give chance to other countries.
The Bharatiya Kabaddi team has left for Barcelona to participate in the Kabaddi World Cup. The captain of the team, Harjit Singh, says, "The team has got bored winning every time. Now we will concentrate upon increasing the victory margin."
Arnav Deka has reached the final of Wimbledon male section. If he wins the final, it will be his 15th Wimbledon title. In the female section, Smita Iyer has reached the final. She is vying for her l0th title here.
The best all rounder in the world, Sachin Dev Gavaskar, today retired from international cricket. He has 200 centuries (l00 in One- Day Internationals and 100 in tests) and 50,000 runs to his credit. He also captured 1,000 wickets. The government has declared national mourning for two days on his retirement. Three temples have already been dedicated to this great cricketer.
Entertainment Page
20 times Oscar winning mega-star Salman Oberoi has confirmed the report that he has signed a Jollywood (The film industry of planet Jupiter) movie. He is elated to be the first Prithvi actor to do a crossover movie.
Noted director Chand Chotajatya's action movie, "Hum aapke kuch kuchhoie hai" won this year's Oscar for best movie. Chotajatya won the best director award while the leading actor of the movie, Vivek Khan, bagged the best actor award. Known for her expressionless emotional performances, Kareena Dixit claimed the best actress award for the movie, 'Company of Bhoot on the Road'.
American movie "Noisy Silence" won the Oscar for best movie in the foreign language section.
Teen sensation Bharatnatyam dancer, Pratibha Saxena, and classical singer, Stephen Sangma, will perform live in Delhi's Pragati Maidan on December 25 this year. This is for the first time that they will perform together. All tickets have been sold out.
Business News Page
"The software company, Megasoft, today merged into the Bharatiya behemoth, Gananak. With Megasoft under his belt, Prabhat Hazarika, the owner of Gananak, once again consolidated his position as the richest man on Prithvi.
The automobile giant Kharuti launched its new economy segment car today. Named as 'Kheeeva', this small car will run on solar power. It has been priced at Rs1000. (For USA and European customers, it will cost $500,000 and $750,000. respectively)
Appointments Page
Famous Bharatiya economist, Dr. Saifuddin Ahmed, has been appointed as the Mahanirdeshak of the World Bank.
Off beat
The Pradhan Mantri of Bharatvarsh has sanctioned Rs 1, 00,000 for the development projects undertaken for the rehabilitation of Bengali and Maratha tribes.
And finally…
The irritating ring tone of my cell phone brought me back to the world of 2006. It was my editor harking at me for stories.
For your rotten India may not be the same ever. There will be a time when your expatriate kids will be trying hard to migrate to India to get the feel of living in the best country of the world. "Utter nonsense," you might say, but here is a secret I would love to share with you.
H.G. Wells knew about it long back, and I came to know about it the other day. With the help of the 'time machine', I peered into 2085 A.D. (Please do not ask me how, or else these Americans will patent it) and discovered my dearest Bharatvarsh (the name India would become obsolete by then) soaking in the glory of ten consecutive World Cup victory. No, no it was not cricket World Cup, it was soccer instead.
You think I'm crazy. You can very well think at your own peril. As I had very little time over there to understand the world of 2085, I scanned through some newspapers. I had a harrowing time searching for printed words. Only few copies of newspapers were published as heritage symbols. The future is in e-newspapers. Here are some samples of news from the Times of Bharatvarsh, November 18, 2085.
The Front Page
India today ordered the United States to solve its border dispute with Cuba immediately. In an SMS to the President of the United States, the Pradhan Mantri of India threatened him of psycho-chemi-bio attack if he fails to start peace talk with the neighboring country within a week.
India today donated three old nuclear submarines to England. The Griha Mantri of India said that it was a gift to the King on his birthday.
The Mukhya Senadhinayak of India today visited Indian's western border on the bank of Euphrates River.
The Rajyapal of Japan today dissolved the state assembly and requested the Rashtrapatiji to invoke Rastrapati's rule in the state. The Mukhyamantri of Japan termed the action of Rajyapal as arbitrary.
Science and Technology Page
The Nobel laureate scientist Dr Dhaniram Bora has been invited by the 'University of Hoka Lola in the planet Mars to deliver a lecture on the scientific implications of Bharatnatyam.
The Pradhan Mantri of India today congratulated astronaut Rahul Sharma on his return from Uranus. While speaking to reporters Sharma said, "The people of Uranus expect friendly ties with Prithvivashi."
The science and technology minister today felicitated a 6th standard student from Bihar who made a watch, which can download virtual coffee. Ram Bhushan, the 12 years old kid says, 'I was inspired by five times Nobel winning Bihari scientist, Dr. Laloo Bhushan Prasad."
"As usual, this year also Bharatiyas swept away the Nobel prizes in every field. This year a special Nobel was given to Santa Singh for his extra ordinary intelligence. However, following the age old custom, the Nobel Prize for peace was reserved for the Indian Pradhan Mantri." (This was a small news item on page 6)
Sports Page
The whole country is celebrating its 10th consecutive World Cup football victory. Immediately after the world cup win striker Laxman Pawar signed a contract with Unreal Bhopal club for an undisclosed amount. The team Bharatvarsh has decided not to take part in the next World Cup to give chance to other countries.
The Bharatiya Kabaddi team has left for Barcelona to participate in the Kabaddi World Cup. The captain of the team, Harjit Singh, says, "The team has got bored winning every time. Now we will concentrate upon increasing the victory margin."
Arnav Deka has reached the final of Wimbledon male section. If he wins the final, it will be his 15th Wimbledon title. In the female section, Smita Iyer has reached the final. She is vying for her l0th title here.
The best all rounder in the world, Sachin Dev Gavaskar, today retired from international cricket. He has 200 centuries (l00 in One- Day Internationals and 100 in tests) and 50,000 runs to his credit. He also captured 1,000 wickets. The government has declared national mourning for two days on his retirement. Three temples have already been dedicated to this great cricketer.
Entertainment Page
20 times Oscar winning mega-star Salman Oberoi has confirmed the report that he has signed a Jollywood (The film industry of planet Jupiter) movie. He is elated to be the first Prithvi actor to do a crossover movie.
Noted director Chand Chotajatya's action movie, "Hum aapke kuch kuchhoie hai" won this year's Oscar for best movie. Chotajatya won the best director award while the leading actor of the movie, Vivek Khan, bagged the best actor award. Known for her expressionless emotional performances, Kareena Dixit claimed the best actress award for the movie, 'Company of Bhoot on the Road'.
American movie "Noisy Silence" won the Oscar for best movie in the foreign language section.
Teen sensation Bharatnatyam dancer, Pratibha Saxena, and classical singer, Stephen Sangma, will perform live in Delhi's Pragati Maidan on December 25 this year. This is for the first time that they will perform together. All tickets have been sold out.
Business News Page
"The software company, Megasoft, today merged into the Bharatiya behemoth, Gananak. With Megasoft under his belt, Prabhat Hazarika, the owner of Gananak, once again consolidated his position as the richest man on Prithvi.
The automobile giant Kharuti launched its new economy segment car today. Named as 'Kheeeva', this small car will run on solar power. It has been priced at Rs1000. (For USA and European customers, it will cost $500,000 and $750,000. respectively)
Appointments Page
Famous Bharatiya economist, Dr. Saifuddin Ahmed, has been appointed as the Mahanirdeshak of the World Bank.
Off beat
The Pradhan Mantri of Bharatvarsh has sanctioned Rs 1, 00,000 for the development projects undertaken for the rehabilitation of Bengali and Maratha tribes.
And finally…
The irritating ring tone of my cell phone brought me back to the world of 2006. It was my editor harking at me for stories.
posted by Writwik | 10:20 pm
2 Comments:
Hilarious!!!!
Great Man..
Just browsed through ur blog and just cudnot resist from appreciating it..
Kudos to u..
Joi Aai Axom..
BTW, I too am in Delhi, Gurgaon....
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